For the last week or so, I’ve been in a funk, bad mood, foul mood, whatever you might want to call it. Pleased to be alone, other times hating to be alone, snappy at my son (Amy was away at camp), very short on patience. Basically, I have been a bitch. And I was wondering why? I’m usually such a happy, positive person. Yet I haven’t been able to feel that way the past few days.
This morning I realized why…
Next Friday, Aug 1 at 8:30 am, I have my next oncology appointment. I get the meet the woman who holds my life in her hands and face my fear again.
I’m a tough person; I’ve gotten through a lot, more than most women my age can even imagine, yet I’m taken to ground with the thought of walking into an oncology unit and seeing my doctor.
I just want to live a normal life, a life that doesn’t involve visiting an oncologist every three months. But I have to go. I have to have the blood tests, have the physical tests, and face the fear again…
I’m thankful that one of my best friends is going with me. I’ve decided I’m never doing these appointments alone again.
I KNOW I’m healthy, yet I can’t escape the fear.
One more week, and I’ll be home free for another three months!
Oh, and as a completely unrelated side note, I’ve learned it’s hard to ride a bike after a greyhound has run full speed into your leg…
