Wow, two blog posts in two days! This has to be some kind of record for me.
What a beautiful day today was! It was the first day of school for my kids – Amy started 6th grade, and Adam started 4th. It still amazes me that they’re so old! I took a day off from work and loved it! After getting Amy on the bus and taking Adam to school, I rode my bike, which really felt great; I am actually getting braver facing more heavily trafficked roads (which is all there seems to be around here). And then I went to lunch with a group of girlfriends for our annual “back to school celebration lunch.” I felt like I was playing hooky…
Got to thinking today on my ride… After seven months on match.com, today my subscription is finally expiring, and I’ve decided to let it go. I’ve certainly enjoyed it, and I’ve honestly learned a lot by using the site. It just seems to be another one of those things that I think about and am amazed at the changes in my life.
When I signed up initially for match, I actually tried eharmony first. (They wouldn’t let me join because I wasn’t legally divorced; they wanted to try to save my marriage! Lol!) But of course they didn’t tell me that they wouldn’t let me join until I completed their never-ending questionnaire. I remember one of the questions was to rate whether or not I was beautiful. And that question stumped me!!! I actually called Doug, my ex husband, and asked him if I was beautiful. That’s how far my self-esteem had fallen living with someone for so long who was never, ever attracted to me. Ask me now, and I guarantee I won’t have to call Doug!
I’ve met quite a few interesting men on match.com (and at least one or two I’d like to get to know much better!), but mostly I’ve learned many things about myself – things I never would have thought of before. I now know what type of man I’m attracted to and what type I’m not. I’ve learned that men do actually find me attractive, and I’ve also learned that I deserve that. I’ve learned more about what I don’t want in a relationship, about the things I would never settle for. And sometimes learning what you don’t want actually helps you determine what you do want.
Anyway, I thought I’d close this post by sharing my final match.com profile. I’m pretty proud of it, both as a writer and personally because I believe it shows how much I’ve learned about myself.
Ten Things About Me…
1. I’m beautiful, slender, and happy with how I look at this point in my life (you guys may not realize this, but that’s a big deal for women!).
2. I’m funny and sometimes sarcastic, and I love guys that make me laugh.
3. I’m smart, self-confident, and professionally successful; I’m an instructional designer for a company in Las Colinas. I enjoy my job, but it’s just my job and comes after my family and friends.
4. I have two kids who live with me and see their dad every weekend. They’re gorgeous, sweet, funny, and all that mushy parent stuff. I love them, but I do realize they’re not perfect.
5. I’ve gone through some of those things in life that people say will either kill you or make you stronger – I came out stronger.
6. I love cycling and am always interested in new cycling partners.
7. I love dogs. I have two retired racing greyhounds. If you ever want to see something beautiful, watch a greyhound run, but pay close attention because they don’t last long before they have to take a four-hour nap!
8. I’m a Christian, but I’m not attending church at this time; I don’t know when I’ll be ready to go back. I believe that if everyone would practice Jesus’s two most important commandments, the world would be a much better place.
9. I have a gay ex-husband who’s living with his partner; we’re still friends. The downside is that I’m also a bit rusty when it comes to dating and nervous when it comes to that good-night kiss. It’s been 16 years, guys..
10. I know what I want in life, and I’m not willing to settle.
Ten Things About You…
1. You’re attractive, active, and fit.
2. You’re funny, maybe even a bit sarcastic like me; you’re quick-witted enough to keep me on my toes.
3. You’re smart and not intimidated by the fact that I am too.
4. You may be a bit on the unconventional side, just to keep things interesting.
5. You’re not looking for an email buddy and understand that meeting in person is the best way to determine if we have chemistry.
6. You’re willing to play the “boy chases girl game” for a while because I haven’t experienced it in years, and it would make me happy.
7. You’re straight. (You know I had to get that in there!)
8. You love life, even when it gets hard.
9. You know what you want in life, and you’re not willing to settle.
10. You’re secure enough in yourself to handle my unconventional situation, and you’re patient enough to show me what I’ve been missing all these years.
Seriously, how often do you guys get to remind a girl how great a straight guy can be?!
Oh my God. I think that you have my life! (Or at least your old life is my “now” life.) I wam waiting to see if I have breast cancer, and my marriage is falling apart because I just found out that my husband likes men.
Wow! I’m so sorry! Both of these things are difficult to deal with, but it’s even worse to deal with both. Have you found the Wives of bi/gay husbands support group on Yahoo? It’s very helpful…